Dangling? Strangling? or Healing Inner Parts During Liminal Time (mid-air suspense)

By Dr. Asha George-Guiser

There is time that is not time

In a place that is not a place

On a day that is not a day,

Between the worlds, and beyond.

When I am in mid-air, not where I was, and not where I want to be, I am very unsettled. My inner parts that are dangling and hidden get pushed out or they jump out when I am in mid-air, like this pandemic time.

When we find ourselves in liminal space, does it matter whether we are pushed or whether we jump? Either way, we are not where or what we were before, nor do we know how or where we will land in our new reality. We are betwixt and between. In that space—which is mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual—we are destabilized, disoriented. The old touchstones, habits, and comforts are now past, the future unknown.

We only wish such a time to be over. We may be impatient to pass through it quickly, with as little distress as possible, even though that is not likely. . .

Most of us before the pandemic felt consciously or unconsciously competent. Now in this pandemic, most of us feel consciously incompetent to deal with the technological glitches, and all the many new unmet needs that confront us that we do not know how to meet in this quarantine.

There are five internal dangling parts that need to be transformed in this in-between space. If these dangling parts are not transformed, these parts could strangle us.

Pain, if not transformed will be transmitted. -Richard Rohr

Part 1

To be transformed in this liminal space is our inner critic which repeatedly screams out in this time of unknowing when we have to learn so many new ways that are challenging to do daily life.

Inner critic screams: “I am no good, I am no good, baby I am no good.” Inner blame and shame.

Part 2

That need to be transformed in this liminal space is Outer critic : When I am consciously incompetent, I blame and shame others, from the bats in China to the Chinese to our president, to those who do not wear masks, to those who protest….

Outer critic screams: “You are no good, you are no good, baby you are no good.”

Part 3

That need to be transformed in this liminal space is the Firefighter: There is a part to some of us who enjoyed putting out fires. We felt a sense of accomplishment from suiting up and getting out to the places of fire and putting them out. Now in this liminal time, there are too many fires and compassion fatigue is setting in when we have to show compassion with social distancing and do remote firefighting.

Part 4

That need to be transformed in this liminal space is our scavenger fish taste. Some of us, we had roles before the pandemic to be in our aquarium, our eco system, to be the bottom fish eaters, serving the better fish swimming high in the tank. We were okay eating the waste of the other fish since we got confused what it is to serve and what it is to be a scavenger fish. In this liminal space of the pandemic, we are losing the taste for the waste and we are left with two choices: to swim out of the eco system to a new fish tank or get toxically sick from too much waste.

Part 5

That need to be transformed in this liminal space is our protective gear. All of us have wounds. Some healed and scarred. Some are healing and bleeding. Some of our wounds are so deep and we have protective gear, like anger or avoidance or projection around it so no one will come close to our wounds. This pandemic, along with the recent “I can’t breathe” video of George Floyd’s killing by police, have ripped open the protective gear for some of us in this liminal space.

But what if we can choose to experience this liminal space and time, this uncomfortable now, as . . . a place and state of creativity, of construction and deconstruction, choice and transformation?

Part 1 inner critic comes with a new song from “I am not good, I am no good,” to a new lullaby “I am God’s beloved, I am enough, even when I do not know what I am doing.”

Part 2 outer critic in this liminal space could be tamed from quick to speak, quick to anger, slow to listen to a new mantra: Slow to speak, slow to anger, quick to listen (Book of James)

Part 3 firefighter needs to trust the new fire of the Holy Spirit that gives us a discerning spirit when to fight the fire and when to stay home to rest.

Part 4 scavenger fish are called in this liminal space to discern the difference between codependency driven by compulsion and true servanthood led by compassion.

Part 5 protective gear needs to ask the question: “How can we put our wounds to the service of others vs how can we hide our wounds to protect our shame of incompetence or trauma?”

During this liminal, mid-air suspense, during this pandemic, Father Richard Rohr taught me that dwelling in unsettling liminal space, whether we are pushed or we jump, we are led to draw on resources and possibilities we may not have tapped before. In the unknown space between here and there, younger and older, past and future, life happens. And, if we attend to our five inner dangling parts, we can feel the Holy Spirit moving with us in a way that we may not be aware of in more settled times.

In liminal time and space, we can learn to let reality—even in its darkness and all our five dangling parts —be our teacher, rather than living in the illusion that we are dangling or strangling on our own. We can enter into the liminal paradox: a disturbing time and space that not only breaks our five inner parts down, but also offers us the choice to live in it with fierce aliveness, freedom, sacredness, companionship, and awareness of Presence of the Triune God.