FACE-ing the Pandemic Angst
By Dr. Asha George-Guiser
Under stress, we regress. Let me repeat. Under stress, we regress. With the Covid-19 pandemic, globally, nationally, as families, churches, as business owners, or individuals, we are under enormous stress and we may regress.
When faced with a pandemic, we have four choices:
Fight
Flight
Freeze
FACE
Fight is anger at who caused the virus to spread, who is not leading us in the right direction, who is not social distancing, just more blame and shame. We feel confrontational, and angry.
Flight is fleeing from all responsibilities, relationships, any reaching out. Overeating, over drinking, porn use, over indulgence is a form of fleeing from the stress that feels out of control, overwhelming, and chaotic.
Freeze is total shut down. Watch all the news and social media about the virus and be so overwhelmed that we shut down, even become suicidal, in total darkness. We feel dark, foggy, hopeless, helpless, shut down.
When we fight or flight we inflame our sympathetic nervous system, heart rate increases.
When we freeze, we collapse into our dorsal vagal system into a collapsed physiology.
I have been practicing the Ignatian way of dealing with stress which moves me away from fight, flight and freeze.
The Ignatian way is called FACE. FACEing reminds me of Carrie Newcomer’s song which says, “The only way out is through, and the only way through is in.” In the solitude of this quarantine, I have been shadow boxing with my FACE.
F stands for naming our fears out loud to God and to one another.
A stands for naming our unhealthy attachments that keep us addicted and anxious.
C stands for naming all that I am fiercely trying to control.
E stands for naming all that I feel entitled to especially since I have lost my freedoms in the quarantine time.
F is fear
A is attachment
C is control
E is entitlement
Fear
My fear is my own terror of death from Covid-19 of my own life and the life of others, or fear of infecting others or others infecting me. I am releasing that fear to Jesus who overcame death. I whisper every day, “Be not afraid, nothing shall, even death, separate me from the love of God.”
I also have limited to 20 minutes of watching the news.
Attachment
I am attached to a thousand frivolous things. My strongest attachment is to my daughter, Preeya, and her safety and well-being. Other attachments include economy - mine and especially others who live on the very edge, security, things, many things, my way of life that is comfortable. In this quarantine time, I cannot attach to things outside myself for lamentable substitutes for what I need from within my soul. I am releasing my unhealthy enmeshed horizontal attachments to the one most secure and abiding attachment to God. Very hard to do, yet freeing.
Every hour, I cry out, Give us this day our daily bread. I am very attached to yearly allowance.
Control
Opposite of faith is not doubt, it is control. I came from a very chaotic family of origin and, therefore I have compensated all my life by plans, control, certitude… Covid-19 has taken away any modicum of control.
Every two to three hours, I go for a 30 minute walk and I chant and sing, “Thy will be done.”
Entitlement
The toughest one to name is my unhealthy entitlements. I am reminded of Rohr’s 5 non - entitlements
Life is hard - I want my life to be easy.
I am not in control. I am entitled to control and certainty.
I am going to die. I want to live a long and healthy life.
Life is not about me. I am guilty of making a lot of my life about me.
I am not the center of life. Covid-19 had made me feel totally irrelevant and I may not be spared from Covid-19, since I am not that special.
I have been kneeling down every evening and praying God to forgive my sin of entitlement. Forgive my trespasses…
FACEing, naming them one by one and releasing them to God and one another is freeing. An African proverb states that “We are hurrying too fast, we must let our souls catch up with us.”
The Ignatian way of FACEing is when the soul catches up with us and we are in the highest calming nervous system, called the Ventral vagal, where we feel connected to God, others, ourselves, open hearted (heart rate is optimum) and at peace amidst the storm of the pandemic. When we FACE, we sleep better, eat better, and serve more generously.
After FACEing, I am able to reach out to five people daily to check in on how they are doing with their FACE.
Options are Fight, Flight, Freeze or FACE.
I wish you FACE as we together face the pandemic of our collective angst and seek the face of God.
Amen
